Hello, my name is Jocy Song. I am a student from University of HongKong. Befor I go to Hongkong for my further study, I should make good preparation by studying in Fudan University. During my study in Fudan, I chose the Advanced English Writing Course, which is one of my most important courses.
This blog is the collection of my writing in the English Writing Class. All the essays is based on a book named International Story. At the beginning, I have no confidence in my writing. I always make verious mistakes. However, with my dear teacher, Ron's help, I think I have made some progress.
Now, I will make some introduction for the essays in this blog. I hope you will like them.
Draft one\Draft Two\ Draft Three--Draft One to Three is for the essay based on the story named The Necklace, which is so famous that I won't spend to much time to make an introduction. The writer of this story is Guy de Maupassant, who is also very famous. I wrote draft One by myself and under the help of my classmates I made some changes to improve the essay. The new essay is draft Two. Then I received the comments and advice from my dear teacher, Ron. Under the direction of Ron, I improved my draft ulteriorly and wrote the draft Three. In this essay, I discussed the factors that make Mathilde suffer ten year's hard life.
Final timed-witing--It is the witing for the final test. Our teacher give us a direction and let us write in 45 minutes. It is also base on the story in the International Story.
Reading log --The reading log is my own feeling after I read the story. I chose the Reading Log for Dead Men's Path by Chinua Achebe from the four reading logs. Dead Men's Path is a story about a young man who took the position of the school in a old country. He wanted to change the old world and help the local people to get rid off supersition. So he decided to cut the dead men's path, however, he failed and his new school is partly destroyed as a result of his ignoration of the tradition.
Time goes quickly. My Advance English Writing Class is near to the end. I have leart a lot in the class. I want to show my gratitude to my good teacher, Ron who spares no effort to help us. I also want to say thank you to my dear classmates. Also thank you for yours attention.
2007年6月15日星期五
Draft Three
“The Necklace” by Guy de Maupassant is a story about a pretty girl, Mathilde, who borrows a precious necklace from her friend to dress herself up and become the focus of the ball. Unfortunately, she loses the necklace, as a result, she endures ten years’ hard life to pay off all the debt for the necklace. What makes Mathilde suffer the ten years’ hard life?
I think the first factor that makes Mathilde suffer the ten years’s hard life is her beauty. As we all know, Mathilde is a pretty girl which is told at the beginning of the story. And we also can know Mathilde’s beauty from people’s reaction when she appears at the ball. “All the men stared at her, inquired her name, and asked to be introduced to her. All the Under-Secretaries of State were eager to waltz with her. The Minister noticed her. ” She is so attractive that she can become the dancing queen easily. She is clearly aware of her beauty and she believes that the poor life doesn’t match her beauty, because “women have no caste or class, their beauty, grace, and charm serving them for birth or family, their natural delicacy, their instinctive elegance, their nimbleness of wit, are their only mark of rank, and put the slum girl on a level with the highest lady in the land.” So Mathilde suffered endlessly, feeling herself born for every delicacy and luxury. Her beauty drives her to pursue the luxury life by all kinds of means.
The second factor is her vanity. Vanity is a terrible thing. It will make people pursue fortune, power and any other things that can help them to get others’ attention by hook or crook. Sometimes, vanity make them ignore the reality and become selfish. In the story, Mathilde is clearly aware of her circumstances. She was born into a family of artisans. “she had no marriage portion, no expectations, no means of getting known, understood, loved, and wedded by a man of wealth and distinction” But when she gets the opportunity to show herself, she forgets all the things and only wants to show her beauty which I think is the result of vanity. Ingoring the poverty of her family, she uses a huge amount of money which her husband saved for a gun to buy the dress. Without and luxury jewel, she tries to borrow some from her friend. When she becomes the focus of the ball, “She danced madly, ecstatically, drunk with pleasure, with no thought for anything, in the triumph of her beauty, in the pride of her success, in a cloud of happiness made up of this universal homage and admiration, of the desires she had aroused, of the completeness of a victory so dear to her feminine heart. ” She loses the necklace when she gets dizzy with success. So the lost of the necklace is partly a result of her vanity. Furthermore, after losing the necklace, she is keen on face-saving that she wants to buy a new necklace to return to her friend without telling her friend the truth. So she doesn’t know that the neck is a fake and suffers ten years’ hard life for the cheap necklace. It is also a result of her vanity.
The last factor is her poverty. “She suffered from the poorness of her house, from its mean walls, worn chairs, and ugly curtains. All these things, of which other women of her class would not even have been aware, tormented and insulted her.” The poverty is the ball and chain which prevents her to pursue he dream. Her ordinary family cannot afford her luxury dream. It also cannot afford the necklace. When she lost the necklace, she and her husband have no choice but to work day after night. So her poorness is partly responsibility for her ten year’s suffering life.
All the three factors together make Mathilde endure the ten year’s hard life.
I think the first factor that makes Mathilde suffer the ten years’s hard life is her beauty. As we all know, Mathilde is a pretty girl which is told at the beginning of the story. And we also can know Mathilde’s beauty from people’s reaction when she appears at the ball. “All the men stared at her, inquired her name, and asked to be introduced to her. All the Under-Secretaries of State were eager to waltz with her. The Minister noticed her. ” She is so attractive that she can become the dancing queen easily. She is clearly aware of her beauty and she believes that the poor life doesn’t match her beauty, because “women have no caste or class, their beauty, grace, and charm serving them for birth or family, their natural delicacy, their instinctive elegance, their nimbleness of wit, are their only mark of rank, and put the slum girl on a level with the highest lady in the land.” So Mathilde suffered endlessly, feeling herself born for every delicacy and luxury. Her beauty drives her to pursue the luxury life by all kinds of means.
The second factor is her vanity. Vanity is a terrible thing. It will make people pursue fortune, power and any other things that can help them to get others’ attention by hook or crook. Sometimes, vanity make them ignore the reality and become selfish. In the story, Mathilde is clearly aware of her circumstances. She was born into a family of artisans. “she had no marriage portion, no expectations, no means of getting known, understood, loved, and wedded by a man of wealth and distinction” But when she gets the opportunity to show herself, she forgets all the things and only wants to show her beauty which I think is the result of vanity. Ingoring the poverty of her family, she uses a huge amount of money which her husband saved for a gun to buy the dress. Without and luxury jewel, she tries to borrow some from her friend. When she becomes the focus of the ball, “She danced madly, ecstatically, drunk with pleasure, with no thought for anything, in the triumph of her beauty, in the pride of her success, in a cloud of happiness made up of this universal homage and admiration, of the desires she had aroused, of the completeness of a victory so dear to her feminine heart. ” She loses the necklace when she gets dizzy with success. So the lost of the necklace is partly a result of her vanity. Furthermore, after losing the necklace, she is keen on face-saving that she wants to buy a new necklace to return to her friend without telling her friend the truth. So she doesn’t know that the neck is a fake and suffers ten years’ hard life for the cheap necklace. It is also a result of her vanity.
The last factor is her poverty. “She suffered from the poorness of her house, from its mean walls, worn chairs, and ugly curtains. All these things, of which other women of her class would not even have been aware, tormented and insulted her.” The poverty is the ball and chain which prevents her to pursue he dream. Her ordinary family cannot afford her luxury dream. It also cannot afford the necklace. When she lost the necklace, she and her husband have no choice but to work day after night. So her poorness is partly responsibility for her ten year’s suffering life.
All the three factors together make Mathilde endure the ten year’s hard life.
Draft Two
The “Necklace” by Guy de Maupassant is a story about an pretty girl, Mathilde, who borrows a precious necklace from her friend to dress herself up and become the focus of the ball. Unfortunately, she loses the necklace, as a result, she endures ten years’ hard life to pay off all the debt. After I read the story, there is a question come into my mind. What makes Mathilde suffer the ten years’ hard life? In my point of view, it is the result of three factors.
The first one is her beauty. As we all know, Mathilde is a pretty girl which is told at the beginning of the story. And we also can know Mathilde’s beauty from people’s reaction when she appears at the ball. “All the men stared at her, inquired her name, and asked to be introduced to her. All the Under-Secretaries of State were eager to waltz with her. The Minister noticed her. ” She is so attractive that she can become the dancing queen easily. Her beauty endows her with the right to pursue a better life, because “women have no caste or class, their beauty, grace, and charm serving them for birth or family, their natural delicacy, their instinctive elegance, their nimbleness of wit, are their only mark of rank, and put the slum girl on a level with the highest lady in the land.” So Mathilde suffered endlessly, feeling herself born for every delicacy and luxury. Her beauty drives her to pursue the luxury life by all kinds of means.
The second factor, I think, is her vanity. As far as I am concerned, vanity is a terrible thing. It will make people pursue fortune, power and any other things that can help them to get others’ attention by hook or crook. Sometimes, vanity make them ignore the reality and become selfish. In the story, Mathilde is clearly aware of her circumstances. She was born into a family of artisans. “she had no marriage portion, no expectations, no means of getting known, understood, loved, and wedded by a man of wealth and distinction” But when she gets the opportunity to show herself, she forgets all the things and only wants to show her beauty which I think is the result of vanity. Ingoring the poverty of her family, she uses a huge amount of money which her husband saved for a gun to buy the dress. Without and luxury jewel, she tries to borrow some from her friend. When she becomes the focus of the ball, “She danced madly, ecstatically, drunk with pleasure, with no thought for anything, in the triumph of her beauty, in the pride of her success, in a cloud of happiness made up of this universal homage and admiration, of the desires she had aroused, of the completeness of a victory so dear to her feminine heart. ” She loses the necklace when she gets dizzy with success. So the lost of the necklace is partly a result of her vanity. Furthermore, after losing the necklace, she is keen on face-saving that she wants to buy a new necklace to return to her friend without telling her friend the truth. So she doesn’t know that the neck is a fake and suffers ten years’ hard life for the cheap necklace. It is also a result of her vanity.
The last factor is her poverty. “She suffered from the poorness of her house, from its mean walls, worn chairs, and ugly curtains. All these things, of which other women of her class would not even have been aware, tormented and insulted her.” The poverty is the ball and chain which prevents her to pursue he dream. Her ordinary family cannot afford her luxury dream. It also cannot afford the necklace. When she lost the necklace, she and her husband have no choice but to work day after night. So her poorness is partly responsibility for her ten year’s suffering life.
In my opinion, the three factors together make Mathilde endure the ten year’s hard life.
The first one is her beauty. As we all know, Mathilde is a pretty girl which is told at the beginning of the story. And we also can know Mathilde’s beauty from people’s reaction when she appears at the ball. “All the men stared at her, inquired her name, and asked to be introduced to her. All the Under-Secretaries of State were eager to waltz with her. The Minister noticed her. ” She is so attractive that she can become the dancing queen easily. Her beauty endows her with the right to pursue a better life, because “women have no caste or class, their beauty, grace, and charm serving them for birth or family, their natural delicacy, their instinctive elegance, their nimbleness of wit, are their only mark of rank, and put the slum girl on a level with the highest lady in the land.” So Mathilde suffered endlessly, feeling herself born for every delicacy and luxury. Her beauty drives her to pursue the luxury life by all kinds of means.
The second factor, I think, is her vanity. As far as I am concerned, vanity is a terrible thing. It will make people pursue fortune, power and any other things that can help them to get others’ attention by hook or crook. Sometimes, vanity make them ignore the reality and become selfish. In the story, Mathilde is clearly aware of her circumstances. She was born into a family of artisans. “she had no marriage portion, no expectations, no means of getting known, understood, loved, and wedded by a man of wealth and distinction” But when she gets the opportunity to show herself, she forgets all the things and only wants to show her beauty which I think is the result of vanity. Ingoring the poverty of her family, she uses a huge amount of money which her husband saved for a gun to buy the dress. Without and luxury jewel, she tries to borrow some from her friend. When she becomes the focus of the ball, “She danced madly, ecstatically, drunk with pleasure, with no thought for anything, in the triumph of her beauty, in the pride of her success, in a cloud of happiness made up of this universal homage and admiration, of the desires she had aroused, of the completeness of a victory so dear to her feminine heart. ” She loses the necklace when she gets dizzy with success. So the lost of the necklace is partly a result of her vanity. Furthermore, after losing the necklace, she is keen on face-saving that she wants to buy a new necklace to return to her friend without telling her friend the truth. So she doesn’t know that the neck is a fake and suffers ten years’ hard life for the cheap necklace. It is also a result of her vanity.
The last factor is her poverty. “She suffered from the poorness of her house, from its mean walls, worn chairs, and ugly curtains. All these things, of which other women of her class would not even have been aware, tormented and insulted her.” The poverty is the ball and chain which prevents her to pursue he dream. Her ordinary family cannot afford her luxury dream. It also cannot afford the necklace. When she lost the necklace, she and her husband have no choice but to work day after night. So her poorness is partly responsibility for her ten year’s suffering life.
In my opinion, the three factors together make Mathilde endure the ten year’s hard life.
Draft One
The “Necklace” by Guy de Maupassant is a story about an pretty girl, Mathilde, who borrows a precious necklace from her friend to dress herself up and become the focus of the ball. Unfortunately, she loses the necklace, as a result, she endures ten years’ hard life to pay off all the debt. After I read the story, there is a question come into my mind. What makes Mathilde suffer the ten years’ hard life? In my point of view, it is the result of three factors.
The first one is her beauty. As we all know, Mathilde is a pretty girl which is told at the beginning of the story. And we also can know Mathilde’s beauty from people’s reaction when she appears at the ball. “She was the prettiest woman present, elegant, graceful, smiling, and quite above herself with happiness. All the men stared at her, inquired her name, and asked to be introduced to her. All the Under-Secretaries of State were eager to waltz with her. The Minister noticed her. ” She is so attractive that she can become the dancing queen easily. Her beauty endows her with the right to pursue a better life, because “women have no caste or class, their beauty, grace, and charm serving them for birth or family, their natural delicacy, their instinctive elegance, their nimbleness of wit, are their only mark of rank, and put the slum girl on a level with the highest lady in the land.” So Mathilde suffered endlessly, feeling herself born for every delicacy and luxury. Her beauty drives her to pursue the luxury life by all kinds of means.
The second factor, I think, is her vanity. As far as I am concerned, vanity is a terrible thing. It will make people pursue fortune, power and any other things that can help them to get others’ attention. Sometimes, vanity make them ignore the reality and become selfish. In the story, Mathilde is clearly aware of her circumstances. She was born into a family of artisans. “she had no marriage portion, no expectations, no means of getting known, understood, loved, and wedded by a man of wealth and distinction; and she let herself be married off to a little clerk in the Ministry of Education.” But when she gets the opportunity to show herself, she forgets all the things and only wants to show her beauty which I think is the result of vanity. Ingoring the poverty of her family, she uses a huge amount of money which her husband saved for a gun to buy the dress. Without and luxury jewel, she tries to borrow some from her friend. When she becomes the focus of the ball, “She danced madly, ecstatically, drunk with pleasure, with no thought for anything, in the triumph of her beauty, in the pride of her success, in a cloud of happiness made up of this universal homage and admiration, of the desires she had aroused, of the completeness of a victory so dear to her feminine heart. ” She loses the necklace when she gets dizzy with success. Furthermore, after losing the necklace, she is keen on face-saving that she wants to buy a new necklace to return without telling her friend the fact. So she doesn’t know that the neck is a fake and suffers ten years’ hard life for the cheap necklace.
From my point of view, the last factor is her poverty. “She suffered from the poorness of her house, from its mean walls, worn chairs, and ugly curtains. All these things, of which other women of her class would not even have been aware, tormented and insulted her.” The poverty is the ball and chain which prevents her to pursue he dream. Her ordinary family cannot afford her luxury dream. It also cannot afford the necklace. When she lost the necklace, she and her husband have no choice but to work day after night.
In my opinion, the three factors together make Mathilde endure the ten year’s hard life.
The first one is her beauty. As we all know, Mathilde is a pretty girl which is told at the beginning of the story. And we also can know Mathilde’s beauty from people’s reaction when she appears at the ball. “She was the prettiest woman present, elegant, graceful, smiling, and quite above herself with happiness. All the men stared at her, inquired her name, and asked to be introduced to her. All the Under-Secretaries of State were eager to waltz with her. The Minister noticed her. ” She is so attractive that she can become the dancing queen easily. Her beauty endows her with the right to pursue a better life, because “women have no caste or class, their beauty, grace, and charm serving them for birth or family, their natural delicacy, their instinctive elegance, their nimbleness of wit, are their only mark of rank, and put the slum girl on a level with the highest lady in the land.” So Mathilde suffered endlessly, feeling herself born for every delicacy and luxury. Her beauty drives her to pursue the luxury life by all kinds of means.
The second factor, I think, is her vanity. As far as I am concerned, vanity is a terrible thing. It will make people pursue fortune, power and any other things that can help them to get others’ attention. Sometimes, vanity make them ignore the reality and become selfish. In the story, Mathilde is clearly aware of her circumstances. She was born into a family of artisans. “she had no marriage portion, no expectations, no means of getting known, understood, loved, and wedded by a man of wealth and distinction; and she let herself be married off to a little clerk in the Ministry of Education.” But when she gets the opportunity to show herself, she forgets all the things and only wants to show her beauty which I think is the result of vanity. Ingoring the poverty of her family, she uses a huge amount of money which her husband saved for a gun to buy the dress. Without and luxury jewel, she tries to borrow some from her friend. When she becomes the focus of the ball, “She danced madly, ecstatically, drunk with pleasure, with no thought for anything, in the triumph of her beauty, in the pride of her success, in a cloud of happiness made up of this universal homage and admiration, of the desires she had aroused, of the completeness of a victory so dear to her feminine heart. ” She loses the necklace when she gets dizzy with success. Furthermore, after losing the necklace, she is keen on face-saving that she wants to buy a new necklace to return without telling her friend the fact. So she doesn’t know that the neck is a fake and suffers ten years’ hard life for the cheap necklace.
From my point of view, the last factor is her poverty. “She suffered from the poorness of her house, from its mean walls, worn chairs, and ugly curtains. All these things, of which other women of her class would not even have been aware, tormented and insulted her.” The poverty is the ball and chain which prevents her to pursue he dream. Her ordinary family cannot afford her luxury dream. It also cannot afford the necklace. When she lost the necklace, she and her husband have no choice but to work day after night.
In my opinion, the three factors together make Mathilde endure the ten year’s hard life.
Final-timed Writing
Jocy Song
Jun 21, 2007
Directions: In Dead Men’s Path the priest says “let the hawk perch and let the eagle perch.” Discuss what you think he means and what this saying reveals about him.
In Dead Men’s Path, the priest says “let the hawk perch and let the eagle perch.” It reminds me another saying, “live, and let live.” As we all know, there are many differences between different people. We receive different education and think from different angles. So we can not ask other people think like ourselves. We should allow various things “perch” in the world. Thoughts that have conflicts to our own thoughts should be allowed to live in the world as well as our own thoughts. In the Story, the priest uses the famous saying to persuade the protagonist to give up cutting the dead men’s path. He hope that the protagonist can understand that though he as the new headmaster is eager to change the old country and help the local people to learn the developed knowledge, he should not ignore the local people’s way to live and their tradition. The headmaster should let not only the modern things but also the old things “perch”.
We also can learn something about the priest from the saying he uses. First, he is a tolerant person. He can tolerate the beliefs, practices, or traits of others. He does not judge whether the tradition or the headmaster’s new thought is right. He tolerates both thoughts. Especially, as a local person, he tolerates the headmaster’s thought which seems crazy to the local people. Second, he is a considerate person. On the one hand, he believes that there is nothing wrong for the local people’s insistence to their belief. On the other hand, he can also understand the headmaster’s thought and his eager to help the local people get rid off the tradition which he thinks is superstition. Though he hopes that the dead men’s path will be hold, he just persuades the headmaster in a kind way. Third, the priest is a person who can think on a high level. He knows that we must let different things exist on the world. Let the hawk perch and the eagle perch as well. It is impossible to ask everyone think in the same way or live in the same way. He has a higher horizon than the local people and the headmaster who only let their own thoughts live. He has the wisdom of life.
Jun 21, 2007
Directions: In Dead Men’s Path the priest says “let the hawk perch and let the eagle perch.” Discuss what you think he means and what this saying reveals about him.
In Dead Men’s Path, the priest says “let the hawk perch and let the eagle perch.” It reminds me another saying, “live, and let live.” As we all know, there are many differences between different people. We receive different education and think from different angles. So we can not ask other people think like ourselves. We should allow various things “perch” in the world. Thoughts that have conflicts to our own thoughts should be allowed to live in the world as well as our own thoughts. In the Story, the priest uses the famous saying to persuade the protagonist to give up cutting the dead men’s path. He hope that the protagonist can understand that though he as the new headmaster is eager to change the old country and help the local people to learn the developed knowledge, he should not ignore the local people’s way to live and their tradition. The headmaster should let not only the modern things but also the old things “perch”.
We also can learn something about the priest from the saying he uses. First, he is a tolerant person. He can tolerate the beliefs, practices, or traits of others. He does not judge whether the tradition or the headmaster’s new thought is right. He tolerates both thoughts. Especially, as a local person, he tolerates the headmaster’s thought which seems crazy to the local people. Second, he is a considerate person. On the one hand, he believes that there is nothing wrong for the local people’s insistence to their belief. On the other hand, he can also understand the headmaster’s thought and his eager to help the local people get rid off the tradition which he thinks is superstition. Though he hopes that the dead men’s path will be hold, he just persuades the headmaster in a kind way. Third, the priest is a person who can think on a high level. He knows that we must let different things exist on the world. Let the hawk perch and the eagle perch as well. It is impossible to ask everyone think in the same way or live in the same way. He has a higher horizon than the local people and the headmaster who only let their own thoughts live. He has the wisdom of life.
Reading Log
Reading Log for Dead Men's Path by Chinua Achebe
When I read the story for the first time, too many things came up in my mind, so I got so confused. Who is wrong? I can not find the answer. Then I read the story again and again. And now, I think that there is no one who are wrong, but one the way obi chose to bring out the reform is wrong. He was too eager to make some changes.
The same thing can be found in our daily life. Usually, a new leader will make many new rules as soon as he is put into the position, ignoring the old rules which have been accepted well and became the tradition. As a result, they failed in most cases. There is nothing different about the policy and other things.
And now China is developing so fast that many things have been changed and is changing. We must take into consideration when is the right time to bring out the new policy.
When I read the story for the first time, too many things came up in my mind, so I got so confused. Who is wrong? I can not find the answer. Then I read the story again and again. And now, I think that there is no one who are wrong, but one the way obi chose to bring out the reform is wrong. He was too eager to make some changes.
The same thing can be found in our daily life. Usually, a new leader will make many new rules as soon as he is put into the position, ignoring the old rules which have been accepted well and became the tradition. As a result, they failed in most cases. There is nothing different about the policy and other things.
And now China is developing so fast that many things have been changed and is changing. We must take into consideration when is the right time to bring out the new policy.
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